I’ve been asked questions by brides if it’s okay to give responsibilities to the entourage like the MOH, Bestman, Groomsmen, and Bridesmaids. This “wedding entourage responsibilities” is actually an ideal based on the West since bridesmaids there, for example, were supposed to pay for their own wedding expenses and is customary to give the bride her bachelorette party. These so-called responsibilities by the bridesmaids, for example, were even listed on dozens of posts on Pinterest and various wedding blogs. But is this even applicable to Filipino culture? Are we really supposed to follow this? Does our culture implement this also in our own weddings? Well based on our experience, there’s actually no correct answer since it will depend on a lot of factors.
Here’s how we see it.
Actually, it’s okay to do so but depende kung gaano mo sila ka-close, sa tradition or belief mo na dapat may gagawin din sila and depende din sayo if you really feel like you need help from them. In reality, even if you’re super-BFF-close-kind-of-thing, not everyone would actually accept the idea of having responsibilities to do for the wedding. Yes, it’s common that they would have “roles to play during the wedding” like the usual support system for couple, helping the bride to dress up, assisting the groom when he’s going to wear his coat, checking if everything is okay with the coordinator (who is actually more than responsible for everything during the wedding), ushering people to the aisle, etc. But then, having “responsibilities” is a different thing.
Likewise, it would also depend if you don’t have any paid coordinator to help you out or even if you do have a coordinator, you still like the idea of giving them something to do to probably validate their role as your entourage in your wedding. Actually yung “rules” regarding entourage responsibilities eh hindi naman talaga dapat i-enforced. Nasa sa inyo yan. Case-to-case basis. This whole “entourage responsibility” thing is more of a western idea.
In our case, for example, hindi kami nagsabi sa mga kinuha namin na entourage na may “responsibilities” sila. We explained the reasons why we have chosen them and their role on the day of our wedding. For us, we value the idea that we have chosen them because they are worthy of that role and we wanted them to be part of our very special day.
Now, if they want to help, super big thanks. But if not, ok lang din. Since close ko yung 90% ng entourage ko especially my Matron of Honor, Man of Honor and half of my Bridesmaids (yung half sa side ni hubby), sila mismo nagkusa to ask us ano maitutulong nila.
My Man of Honor had been helping us with all the legal processing and supplier meetings when we first started our wedding planning. He was our ever reliable “assistant” from our Prenup shoots, supplier detailings, food tasting, etc.
One of my bridesmaids initiated in throwing my bridal shower and even helped in making our surprise pre-wedding party here in Kuwait.
My Matron of Honor (MOH) even took a leave from work just to assist me with my bridal gown fittings!
They actually did all of these without us even telling them to do it for us. We felt yun yung sincere care since sa kanila mismo nag simula!
During the whole wedding planning, we realized that you don’t really have to force your entourage to do things for you. If they want to help out, let them and be thankful because they exerted their best effort to help out.
Likewise, in our opinion, we actually find it silly to “enforce” a certain rule that they have certain “responsibilities” to do during the whole wedding planning. If the couple ever comes to this point, the question of “bakit ba natin sila kinuha as MOH or Bridesmaids in the first place? Para ba may masabi na meron tayong entourage at makatulong sa gastusin or dahil importante sila sa buhay natin?” should be recalled. Also, since most of the time, reality-wise, instead na they would also enjoy your wedding, baka mapilitan lang sila to act on certain things because “they have to” kasi nga Bridesmaids sila for example and if hindi maging okay, magsisihan pa at ang ending baka masira pa araw niyo pare-pareho.
Not sure if your entourage is already complete? You can check this post WEDDING ENTOURAGE ROLES for more info.