Yes you read that right. The title just says what this post is all about. I’m venting out here and I think it’s just normal right? Anyway we’re going to talk about the
daily struggles of Wedding Preparations especially for Overseas couples like us. First off, it’s exactly 6 months from now for our big day! Time has flown so fast we barely managed to keep track of all the tiny-gritty-details of wedding planning, but thankfully though as we get to read all the posts that we did when this blog was created, we have at least a good documentation of how we have barely managed so far. For the last 10 months since we got engaged and thus the start of wedding planning, we have overcome (and is still struggling for some) a few issues that came along the way.
This is probably THE most difficult challenge that we had to face, realistically speaking. Setting a couple of numbers and putting it on paper is quite easy but being practical and honest with our net income and how financially capable we are to spend such for a single day is really an eye opener. Ironically, this must have been a result of our financial literacy seminars that teaches us to think more for the long term. And since we’re also simple, middle-class OFWs who are average earners with no huge inheritance from our parents or even a trust fund already set for our future marriages (think about the Arabs and Indians who actually do, lucky them), setting our target budgeted amount for our dream wedding is like checking our monthly payroll to find out we only have less than a thousand pesos to spend for the rest of the month.
Booking the best of the best of the best suppliers in the country to be part of our dream wedding team is actually comparable to finding a needle on a haystack! For some it’s quite simple especially if they you have the time to book them early and definitely huge amount of money to spend. It’s like — Hello?! Add the never-ending factors to consider like feedback, reputation, portfolio, jive with each other, personality, freebies, promos, discounts etc etc In reality, they’re always overlooked because people would initially check their price tag. So if you can’t afford ’em, forget ’em. End of story. Bitter much? Not really..just being REALISTIC.
This includes refraining from carbs and sweets as much as possible while doing 15-30 minutes at least of daily work out regime and letting ourselves focus on the goal that we need to be really, really, really fit to look good on our wedding attires! It’s actually not compulsory since we’re neither obese nor anorexic, but after seeing a couple of wedding (and yes the vanity knocks in), this became a pact between me and fiance not only for great health and longevity’s sake but as well as to still look fittingly good on our big day. Difficulty level? It’s a 10 especially if laziness would knock in and say hola.
SAVINGS vs SPLURGES
Sale is everywhere! People in the Middle East actually breathes it in! Add the fact that one of our main weaknesses is about.. FOOD. Restaurants of different varieties catering to different cuisines would just pop out of nowhere like mushrooms on a field. Discounts and promos would be used to entice people and us.. of course. But because we need to be IN CONTROL of our savings and the money spent should only be on what we need to prioritize, this is like fighting a daily demon inside. Sounds crazy, huh?
Thanks to a reader who reminded me that this should definitely be included on this list which of course would include the entourage as well. As per Filipino traditions, the rest of the family on both sides should be invited.. sometimes even up to the 3rd or 4th degree of consanguinity! Seriously. Well, you also have to actually add the Ninongs/Ninangs who fell from the face of the earth and your connection would just be revived because you’re getting married and they should be there too, the nosy neighbors, you and fiance’s classmates from elementary, HS and college; and don’t forget the work colleagues that you see on a daily basis. If your wedding would so happen to fall during elections, you’d even be pressured to get politicians to be your Ninong/Ninang since it would add some sort of suave to your wedding invite. BUT — you seriously don’t have to invite them all! C’mon. JUST INVITE THOSE IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIVES. Learn to say NO to your parents who would insist to invite their amigas or your relatives whom you guys don’t actually get along with or those friends who were just there because they need you and would most likely disappear again from your life after the wedding. Even though you’d probably won’t be friends on FB after your wedding, it’s fine. Unless you’d want your wedding to look like a fiesta.
This includes both the prenup stylist, event stylist and wedding-day-stylist. Yes the latter do exist which I found was too..expensive. Getting one would HIGHLY depend whether you and your fiance is a bit picky, has a fixed vision in mind, not too stylish, definitely have extra cash to spend. Let’s face it.. for shoots like this everyone is not a fashionista and some need help. So wanting to be fashionable like those models in the cover of a magazine would definitely need some help and wanting something grand of course entails for you both to shed a couple thousands of pesos since stylist these days doesn’t comes cheap. Seriously. The thought now makes me want to go back to my comfort zone and sleep =( Not budget-friendly right? Well, not all. Some are affordable, you just have to find a really good one!
NEEDS vs WANTS
This is about EVERYTHING during the whole wedding preps..from the time the wedding date was chosen to this very moment that we’re stuck whether we’d get special/memorable/affordable souvenirs for the lovely guests or the need to just be content with the free Photo booth service (old school, I know) that came as a freebie with the caterer! This would also include memories of decisions that the two of you once faced or is currently facing right now.. to get that well-known-celebrity-favorite supplier with a minimal package that comes with a very steep price OR that mid-range supplier (who’s also reputable) but is quite affordable with lots of freebies with their package. It’s not only about the quality vs quantity war but more so the desire to have them as part of your dream team but the wedding budget ain’t agreeing. Yes, you have the option to PUSH THROUGH AT WHATEVER COST but the aftermath would probably (or definitely) shake the bank account. So..ladies (and gents), stick with the needs, book what you can without compromising your financial life after the wedding and just FORGET WHAT WOULD RUIN YOUR WEDDING BUDGET! It’s all written in caps because honestly this would be a good reminder for me. Every. Single. Time.
This isn’t compulsory but it’s something optional for you and your fiance to do. But mind you that when you opt to have it, be aware of the never ending fees that comes with it. Pretty hefty, trust me. Okay so what am I saying? That it costs a bunch? YES. How? There’s 1) fee for the location, unless you got connections that it can be waived or you just want to do it on a public place like your house or a park and you probably don’t need to secure any pemrit to do your shoot. Then comes the 2) OOT fees of suupliers P/V/HMUA/Stylist for those who would want to do their prenup outside the Metro. This of course does not include the suppliers transpo, accomodation and food. Some even charge more depending on the location of the shoot. I know this shot is tiring but its definitely more tiring for the couple, money-wise. Oh, and don!t forget your 3) own prenup budget like for your clothes, accessories, your own food, transpo and/or accomodation. Yes it’s a one-time-thing but it still makes you want to rethink about your current financial situation. If you won’t get broke afterwards then go and do it!
So…will probably add more later.. if I get to remember things. But yeah.. Happy preps for now!
12 Comments Add yours
What about the guest list? It made me crazy! Nakakaloka talaga! Lalo na when you send them invite then it says there 1 seat reserved, they will ask you pa what about my kids? my bf? If only you can say ” e di wag kayo pumunta!” hahahahahaha kaso hindi naman pwede. Even if you say sorry 1 lang talaga, makikihaggle pa! hay talaga!!!!!!
Yes that should be included Eula. Really crazy! Haha Thanks for reminding me. I’ll update the post later. 🙂
Lesson learned: I will not tell who are the invited guests para wala na makialam hahahahaha
Naku mahirap din maitago yan. Good luck talaga! 🙂 Well I guess allot lang talaga 1 or 2 seats especially for the VIPs at part ng entourage or if super close niyo para wala issues.
Hi! I find this blog very helpful coz im an overseas girlfriend who dreams of getting married mid next year. 🙂 I want an elegant yet budget friendly wedding and I think it’s doable as long as I choose the right suppliers and focusing only on the NEEDS not on wants. I hope you can always update this blog coz sooner or later I might be going through the same struggles as well. Cheers and goodluck on your wedding preps! 🙂
Hi Cindy. Thanks for appreciating our blog. Hopefully it can help you during your wedding preps. Will be posting more details soon. If you have any concerns you’d like to be featured here just inform us. Happy preps as well! 🙂
Can I ask if sinagot mo ba yung gastos sa dresses ng bridesmaids mo? Tight na talaga ang budget namin for our wedding next year and it would help a lot kung mababawas sa expenses namin yung pagpapatahi ng damit nila! Do you think it would be polite though to ask them to pay for it? Or obligated talaga na kmi ang gumastos sa dresses nila since we’re the one who invited them to be part of our entourage in the first place?
Hi Maffy. Yes, kami sumagot ng attire ng bridesmaids. If hindi na talaga kaya ng budget, you can ask naman if they can cover the expenses especially if close niyo sila. Though if that would happen its best to give them ideas saan pwede magpatahi or bumili if RTW na. If you feel na dapat kayo pa din gagastos for their attire, try to check bridal shops which offer rentals. You can check Rommel Espera Novaliches and look for Ms Jean. Based sa experience namin ok siya kausap and output niya sa FG gowns na pinatahi namin.
Okay, will do! Thank you so much for the tip!
We’re you the one who paid for the dresses of your bridesmaids!
Hi, Do you have a blog entry about Catholic Church Wedding Requirements? As OFW, did your church requires both of you to submit additional requirements such as “Freedom to Marry” and Search of Marriage” document from your overseas country? We’re really struggling on doing all of this right now since my fiance is also an OFW.
Hi KC. Yes you can check that here the posts is called “Wedding Legal Requirements” and “Certificate of Freedom to Marry”. Everything is listed there, you can search it here.
As per your second question yes as an OFW your church where you will get married will need you to submit “freedom to marry certificate” which you can get from your local parishes. Its the equivalent of the civil requirement called Cenomar. Hope it helps 🙂