“Brides lang ba dapat ang kikilos to prepare for the wedding?”

I have been asked about this a few times and kahit OC bride ako, the answer is NO. Here’s my take based from personal experience.

If you have the means, no problem with budget, hire the best possible Full Coordinator and let them do everything for you. You can just say yes and no at ganun din si fiancé mo. Kumbaga let your money work for you.

But, if you’re a budgeted bride like me, overseas based ka man or not, you need your fiancé to help you with everything.

Why?

Because hindi ka si Wonder Woman who can do everything, only unless ikaw yung tipo na parati na lang nasusunod at kina-career lahat. Pero, do you think ok yun? It’s like you’re already showing him from the start na you are that independent and can do things even without him. Balikan mo yung reason why you are getting married in the first place. Diba dalawa kayo magpapakasal at hindi lang ikaw?

Bes, KASAL ITO AT HINDI DEBUT na solo flight ka dapat.

Kahit pa sabihin mo na busy siya, teka — sino ba ang hindi busy?

Kahit pa sabihin mo na nasa abroad siya or LDR kayo, teka — ano silbi ng internet, email, skype and social media like FB? Pang chat lang at pang games ang silbi?

Kahit pa sabihin mo na mas may alam ka, teka — don’t underestimate what he knows malay mo mas may alam sayo si fiance mo sa pag DIY ng kung ano-ano at pag organize ng budget.

Kahit pa sabihin mo na dream wedding mo ito since you’re a little girl, teka — paano naman dream niya? For sure dream niya din ikasal sa babaeng pinakamamahal niya.

At kahit pa sabihin mo ikaw dapat star sa wedding niyo at ikaw dapat masunod, teka — diba siya yung groom mo at paano naman yung gusto niya?

Unless ikaw lahat ang magbabayad ng wedding expenses.. push mo yan bes at ikaw na ang masunod sa lahat. Wag mo na ito basahin. 😊

Pero, kung gagastos din si groom for your wedding, dapat help each other, 50-50 kayo sa tasking ng wedding planning niyo. Huwag ka selfish. Huwag ka magmagaling. Bakit kinasal ka na ba before at may previous experience ka to handle your own wedding? Kahit pa sabihin mo may stint ka to work with weddings — bes, ibahin mo ito kasi wedding mo ito. Remember, dalawa kayo ikakasal at hindi lang ikaw.

Eh paano naman kung ayaw niya tumulong? Kelangan ba pwersahin?

Remember, you’re both consenting adults who agreed to be married. So hindi na kayo bata para pwersahin ang bawat isa. Nasa pag-uusapan niyo na ito but be sure he knows you want him to participate in your wedding planning. Dito pumapasok ang compromise. Kung dito pa lang sa pag-aayos ng kasal tamad na siya, paano pa sa mas mga importanteng events ng buhay niyo as a married couple? Solo ka na lang ba forever?

Gaya ng sabi ng priest na nakausap namin before, “This wedding is a celebration of your love for each other. This is merely just a start of your journey together before you become officially married.” So, with true love comes responsibility dapat.

Kahit ikaw ang kumakarir ng lahat, give him something important to do, yung tipong he would feel responsible and man enough to go along on this once-in-a-lifetime journey with you. Hindi sapat ang magbigay lang ng pera para sa kasal kasi kahit ikaw ginagawa mo din yun diba?

And PRAY. You need God’s guidance on this once-in-a-lifetime journey. Much better if you both will pray together. Remember, the family that prays together stays together. Kahit pa sabihin na hindi pa kayo married at wala pa kayong family, dun din naman ang punta niyo diba? Minsan nakakalimutan ng ibang tao na ang wedding preparation is actually the start of your forever. From this point on you will make big and difficult decisions which will let you guys face the reality of how you can be “one” instead of “two” individuals. As a married couple, you need to be “one”. So this is a good practice ground.

So, just be patient. Inhale, exhale muna kasi baka overwhelmed lang kayo pareho. Step back if you feel like mag-isa mo na ginagawa lahat and let your fiance move a step forward so you both can be in the middle and compromise.

Be honest with your feelings but do not be unfair.

Trust me, it will be all worth it.

Happy preps! ❤️ #AikiSays